Awake, cold heart

How can I say, Lord, I love you
 when internet surfing and TV get more attention than You?
How can I say, I am your disciple
 when entertainment is the only discipline I follow?
How can I say, Lord, that I seek after You
 when early morning snuggling in bed and sleeping is the norm
 over spending time in prayer with You?
How can I say, Lord, I am spiritual
 when I seek to pamper my body first everyday?

I am ashamed of my apathy
of a heart that grows cold and cold
of lip service with minimal sacrifice
of praise that costs me nothing
of promises and resolutions to seek after You that are replaced by worldly pursuits and distractions

The fig tree that produced no fruit shriveled and died
I do not want to be that fig tree

I know that You are the one that keeps
this bent reed and flickering candle alive
That You have not let the bent reed break
Nor the flickering candle get snuffed out
Not because of anything that I am
But only because of Your love for me
and for the sake of Your name

You are no respecter or persons, I know
Have mercy on me yet again
Break me and make me as You please
into whatever earthen vessel You like
Fill me with Your Living Water
and with Your will and desire for my life